Kale with Bacon and Onion

You may have heard of a little thing called bacon. It makes everything better. Including difficult, unappreciated, downright advanced vegetables like kale. You think your kids won’t eat kale? Try drenching it in bacon fat, and get back to me.

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First thing you’ll want to do is cut up about 6 slices of bacon into fairly small pieces. Make sure your bacon is gluten-free, and preferably nitrate/nitrite free as well. I like Hormel Natural Choice, myself. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

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Sautee the bacon bits in a large pot, or a very deep pan with a lid. I know it looks like overkill now, but the need for all that pan space will become evident in a moment.

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Once the pieces are nice and crispy, scoop them out with a slotted spoon, and set them aside on a paper towel to drain.

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Use the bacon fat remaining in the pan to sautee one onion, and two cloves of minced garlic. See, we’re using every part of the bacon, just like the ancient tribes of… no, nevermind. It’s because it’s delicious, that’s why.

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While that’s cooking, take two bunches of kale, and cut out the main stem from each leaf by running your knife right down both sides of it. Chop the leaves into fairly large pieces, and lightly drop it all into the pan. It should take up a lot of space, kind of like a giant bowl of salad that you happen to have sitting on the stove.

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Gently turn the pile for about a minute, until the leaves are bright green and well-coated in bacon-ness. Please note that the right way to do this is with tongs. As long as you don’t actually touch the bottom of the pan, you probably won’t burn your fingers. I mean, I did, but I’m sure you’re more careful than I am. Or at least smarter, and thus willing to use tongs.

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Now pour about 1/4 cup of water into the pan…

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…and place the lid mostly over the top, leaving a small gap.

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Six to ten minutes later, you will be stunned at how much your kale has shrunk. But not for long, because you’ll be too busy salivating over the plate of bacon that’s been waiting patiently by your side, like a loyal friend. Ideally, the kale will be soft and wilted, but not overcooked and slimey. Better to take the lid off too early than too late, so keep an eye on it.

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Let’s not mince words here. You need to eat more vegetables. You want to eat more bacon. Now you don’t have to choose between the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other.

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Happy Eating!

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Kale with Bacon and Onion

2 bunches of kale, trimmed
6 slices of bacon
1 onion
2 cloves minced garlic
1/4 cup water