Banana Pudding

I know what you’re thinking. GFCF banana pudding? That’s impossible. I mean, hello… whipped cream? Vanilla wafers? This is it, she’s finally lost her mind. But no, it’s true!

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The newer you are to this diet, the luckier you are, because more and more high-quality items are coming out on the market every day. And this one is mind-blowing, there’s just no other description for it. Dairy-free, soy-free, whipping cream, that tastes and feels just like the real thing. For really reals, y’all. It’s called Healthy Top, by a company called MimicCreme.  I don’t know that I’d call it “healthy,” to be honest. It is a processed food, and does contain some thickeners and emulsifiers. But it has no artificial dyes, flavors, or sweeteners, and more importantly it contains not a speck of dairy.

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Seriously, you have to try it to believe it. Add a little more sugar and you could frost cupcakes with this stuff, it’s so thick and creamy. How they made this with cashews and almonds, I’ll never know. Anyway, get one box really cold like the instructions say, whip it up, and put it back in the fridge until you’re ready for it. Or, you know, save this step for last, if you want to be all efficient about it.

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Next, pudding. Crack two eggs into a small pot on the stove.

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Pour in 2 cups of the milk substitute of your choice.

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Add 1/3 cup of sugar…

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…and 1/4 teaspoon of Adam’s Extract vanilla. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!] I use this powdered version, but the Adam’s Extract liquid is also fine. The reason you have to check your vanilla extracts is because they’re suspended in alcohol, which could be malted from barley, which would mean gluten. It’s a complicated world we live in.

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What you have in your pot right now is (or will be soon) vanilla pudding. You now have a critical decision to make. Are you truly going to make banana pudding, or are you going to layer slices of banana with vanilla pudding? Different people like it different ways. I’m pureeing the bananas for real banana pudding, so you can look carefully at the final product and decide if it’s the way you want to go or not, because fresh banana pudding doesn’t quite look like the boxed junk you are used to seeing. So that’s three bananas, blended with just a splash of almond milk to thin it out.

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Here it is, pouring into the pot.

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Cook the pudding just until it starts to boil, stirring frequently. Remove the pot from the heat and allow it to cool, then refrigerate for 20-40 minutes, until it’s set.

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Er… hopefully your fridge has more space than mine.

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But what, you may ask, can you substitute for vanilla wafers? Well, these ladyfinger cookies from Shabtai Gourmet are an excellent facsimile thereof. In general everything they offer is superb. They are a bit on the expensive side, as all gluten-free products tend to be. But for the right occasion, I indulge, because I firmly believe that taking care of myself has to be a priority if I’m going to be in any shape to take care of my kids. Most of their items freeze very well, so you can use the flat-rate shipping and buy in advance. (Unsolicited tip: the Raspberry Roll? Holy cow. Just… dang.)

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You will now start to see why all-natural banana pudding may not be your cup of tea. Real fruit oxidizes, and pureed fruit oxidizes faster than whole fruit, because more of it is exposed to the air. It has not gone bad by any means, but it is going to first get khaki-colored like this, and then almost kind of purply-gray if many hours pass before you eat it. Flavor will be unaffected, but not everyone wants to eat purplish banana pudding. On the other hand, some kids are more affected by texture than color, and won’t appreciate banana slices hiding in their dessert like slimy round ninjas. It’s up to you.

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Layer cookies, pudding, (bananas,) cookies, then whipped cream in a 9 x 13 dish.

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Spread your whipped cream globs into a smooth layer with the back of a spoon. One box makes 4 cups of whipped cream, so it will be a pretty thick layer if you use all of it. You could always make more pudding. And then if you don’t have enough whipped cream to cover the second batch of pudding, you could make more whipped cream, and…

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Happy Eating!

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GFCF Banana Pudding

2 eggs
2 cups almond milk
1/3 cup sugar
1/4 tsp vanilla
3 bananas (plus a splash of almond milk if pureed)
1 box Healthy Top whippable cream
1-2 packages Shabtai lady fingers