(Not Really) Jello Pie

You guys know I’m not a baker (or a butcher or candlestick maker, for that matter.) I do occasionally foray into dessert territory, but I really prefer it if they don’t contain anything resembling pastry, also known by its ancient Native American name of work.

 

See, it’s all about balance. Glutino, for example, can do the work of making these incredibly good gluten-free pretzels, and I will do the work of opening the bag. Sounds fair to me. [As always, the brands I use were GFCF at the time of posting, but manufacturers can change formulas without warning. Always check your labels!]

 

The nice thing is, this recipe (which was originally given to me by my mother-in-law back in the Pre-GF Era) always called for a crushed-pretzel crust, so it was really pretty simple to convert once I decided to revisit it. A wide, flat crushing tool will be the most effective, but you could also enlist a child with a mallet if you happen to have one of those tugging at your sleeve.

 

Ultimately you want to end up with 1 1/2 cups (measured in its crushed state.) Then add in 2/3 cup of Spectrum shortening, which is kind of like a whipped butter substitute if you’ve never worked with it before. You can also use melted dairy-free margarine if you would rather, but shortening is one of those old-school ingredients grandma used to bake with, and there’s a reason. It adds a fluffiness to baked goods that just can’t be beat.

 

Add in 2 Tablespoons of sugar, and mix everything thoroughly with a fork until the shortening is evenly spread through.

 

The result will be kind of like a crumbly cookie dough, which you will then press into the bottom of a greased 9 x 13 baking dish. Wet your hand with water occasionally while you’re doing this, otherwise it will want to stick to your fingers instead of staying down in the dish where it belongs. Bake it for 10 minutes in the oven at 350 degrees, then take it out and allow it to cool completely while you’re working on the rest of the dessert.

 

Speaking of which, here is step one of the rest of the dessert. This is a 10-ounce bag of frozen strawberries that I have allowed to thaw, and then poured off the extra liquid into a measuring cup. You want to use frozen strawberries for this exact reason, even though you’re going to bring them back to room temperature, because the freezing breaks down the inner cellular structure so they do release all this lovely strawberry juice, and are softer in the final product.

 

Add water to the measuring cup until it reaches the 2 cup mark, then pour it all into a large bowl.

 

Sprinkle the contents of two gelatin packets over the surface of the liquid. You can buy plain gelatin packets in the baking aisle of any grocery store, and it is way cheaper and way healthier compared to buying that little box of chemicals that rhymes with yellow.

 

Now, measure out another 2 cups of some sort of strawberry-based fruit juice. Strictly speaking, it doesn’t even really have to contain any strawberry, something like a white grape juice would still be overwhelmed by the flavor of the strawberries and strawberry juice we’ve already put in the bowl. Heck, this “strawberry kiwi” juice I’m using is mostly apple juice itself. So use whatever you want.

 

Microwave the 2 cups of fruit juice until it’s lightly boiling, about 2-3 minutes, and then pour it into your bowl and stir immediately until the gelatin is completely dissolved.

 

In another bowl, whip up one refrigerated container of MimicCreme Healthy Top (also known as the most unbelievable dairy-free soy-free whipped cream substitute I’ve ever come across.) You also could have done this part earlier while you were waiting for your crust to bake, if you wanted to be more efficient about the whole thing.

 

Glob large spoonfuls all over the pretzel crust…

 

…and smear it out into a smooth layer with the back of a spoon, all the way to the edges of the dish. It’s important to really get it smeared across the edge of the glass, because this needs to form an airtight seal.

 

Spoon your strawberries on top (I know, they look pretty wilted and sad. But it’s okay because we’re going to cover them up.)

 

Then carefully pour your giant bowl of not-yet-solid gelatin over the top. You may need to squash a few of the larger strawberries down so they’re all submerged. If you left any gaps between the whipped topping and the glass, this is the point where your liquid will slowly seep down to the bottom, and everything else will float unevenly to the top. The end result will be just as tasty, but very jumbled and messy-looking. Look closely: if you see any large bubbles coming up after you pour on your gelatin, stick your finger in there and smear the whipped topping to close the gap. No bubbles = no problem.

 

Refrigerate the whole thing for a couple hours, until the gelatin is solid. This is a great dish to bring to a potluck dinner, by the way. It’s quick and easy to make, serves a lot of people, and no one will ever suspect that it’s one of those weird GFCF things you make your poor family eat.

 

Happy Eating!

 

(Not really) Jello Pie

1 1/2 cup crushed Glutino pretzels
2/3 cup Spectrum shortening
2 TBS sugar
10-oz package frozen strawberries
2 cups strawberry kiwi fruit juice
2 packets plain gelatin
1 container MimicCreme whip cream substitute